Combating Negativity
How much do your attitude and mood affect your relationships? People avoid negative people! Throwing away all negative thoughts is to release all doubt and reject all fears.
The Negativity Affect
People who have a positive attitude will pay attention to the good, rather than the bad in people, situations, events. People with a negative attitude ignore the good and pay attention to the bad in people, situations, events, etc.
It comes down to hope! No one is exempt from challenges. Our point of view is our personal choice, with emphasis on the word “choice”. But the way our brains work, it seems easier to notice the negative than the positive. Even researchers have proved this. The negativity bias is a way our brains work, and we tend to respond more strongly to negative events and emotions, than positive ones. You can hear thirty compliments and one criticism, and you’ll tend to obsess over the criticism instead of enjoying the praise.
This feels like a set-up! If we immediately react to anything negative, how can we help but be over-sensitive? Is there a strategy we can set up to override this natural, yet irrational response to keep us safe within our daily relationships?
In relationships, the negative effect is like having a magnifying glass to see the other’s faults, real or imagined. Plus, you may be biased by internal overconfidence that magnifies your strengths! A dual reaction! So you wonder how the people around you can be so selfish and so blind to your great qualities, considering all that you’ve done for them. You contemplate one of life’s most exasperating mysteries: Why don’t they appreciate me? Why don’t you notice me? Why don’t you hear me?
If you feel like a disappointment in your relationships, “making up for it” by doing good and loving things is good, but that doesn’t cancel out the destructive reactions to the problems. If one person is negative for too long, the other person gets tired, and may even snap. Negativity is a tough disease to shake and is highly contagious.
The powerful solution
It matters what you do more than what you say. But then on a deeper level, If all you’re doing is managing behaviour and “doing” it gets to the point when you want transformation. The definition of change is becoming something that I am not. That gets exhausting. The definition of transformation is becoming who you really are, according to who your Creator God says you are. That becomes effortless! It starts with changing your beliefs.
You co-create with God. Creating your day, your attitude, your life is a process at three levels. It starts with a thought and feeling, and then moves into words, and then into action. But to think, speak and do something that you don’t “believe” is impossible. So knowing, trusting, and believing you are loved, accepted, and full of worth...when that becomes a total certainty with gut-level clarity...that is security.
We find that the most practical investment into our beliefs is our “I am…” statements, and that is the most creative statement of all. Whatever you think, whatever you say, after the words “I am” puts the power of the Holy Spirit into motion, and agreement with heaven on earth.
After making your “I am..” statements, harnessing your thoughts to link up with the beliefs in your heart. Pay attention to your thoughts...think about your thoughts, and train yourself to line them up to the promises of who you really are.
Six Empowering Beliefs (that will change your life!)
I am enough, I am not broken.
I am persuaded that there are always possibilities
I am full of wisdom, and always know what to do
I always succeed at everything I do
I always have the resources I need to do what needs to be done
My past is never wasted but is redeemed to launch me forward
I am content, I am peaceful, I am happy.
I am full of mercy and I am fully persuaded that I am enough and God is enough.
Being content, peaceful and happy is a tremendous gift to all of your relationships. Being heavy with guilt, judgment and fear affect the atmosphere. Being carefree with continuous joy is your inheritance. Therefore, there is no room for worry or anxiety. You are full! To the top! You are not empty, deprived, or depleted.
It’s an internal choice to enjoy life to the fullest and therefore move efficiently through difficulties and trauma.
Your mood of joy and peace means dependence on God and enjoying a carefree life as you trust your Father in heaven. You may have some doubts about being carefree and continuous joy.
Hear more about this topic on Episode 89 of All About Relationships Podcast with Bob and Audrey.