183 (pt. 3) The Story We’re Writing Together
Writing Our Story Together: Our Agreements Matter!
Every relationship is a story in the making—one that’s written over time, shaped by our experiences, challenges, and victories. But what if we told you that you don’t have to live your relationship story by default? Instead, you can co-write it with intentionality, shared values, and a sense of purpose.
In this phase of the journey, we’ll explore how to create shared agreements and confessions about who we are and who we’re becoming. Whether you’re a couple, a family, or lifelong friends, the words and intentions you share can shape the trajectory of your relationship. Let’s dive in and learn how to write this story together!
1. The Power of Shared Confession and Agreement
The words we say about ourselves and each other have immense power. Proverbs 18:21 reminds us, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue." What we confess about our relationships—whether out loud or in our hearts—sets the tone for how we experience them.
When you agree on certain values or intentions, you’re essentially creating a shared story. These agreements become the foundation of how you relate to each other, how you handle challenges, and how you move forward together. It could be as simple as saying, “We’re committed to growing together,” or “We believe in the best for each other.”
Imagine the power of a couple or a family aligning their words, intentions, and actions. Instead of living reactively, you’re shaping your relationship with intention. Amos 3:3 asks, "Can two walk together unless they are agreed?" Walking together in agreement is the key to staying in sync through all the phases of life.
2. Writing a Story Together Instead of Living by Default
Many of us go through life and relationships on autopilot. We get caught up in routines, react to situations as they come, and before we know it, we’ve allowed the story of our relationships to be written for us by circumstances.
But what if you made the choice to write your own story together? This means sitting down as a couple, as a family, or even with a close friend, and talking about what you both want. What do you value most? How do you want to handle challenges? What kind of story do you want to look back on in 5, 10, or 20 years?
Proverbs 16:9 reminds us, "The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." While we may not be able to control everything, we can still set intentions and choose how we will respond to life’s twists and turns. By planning and agreeing together, we create a shared vision that will guide us through both smooth sailing and stormy weather.
3. Being Flexible and Adaptable as the Story Evolves
Every relationship goes through seasons—times of joy, times of growth, times of struggle. The agreements and confessions that guided you during your early years together may need to shift as you encounter new phases of life. Ecclesiastes 3:1 tells us, "To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven."
Being adaptable is key. As you move through different stages—whether it’s starting a family, building careers, or facing transitions—you may need to revisit your agreements and make new confessions. The shared story you write together isn’t set in stone—it’s a living narrative that can grow and evolve just as you do.
For example, what worked when you were newlyweds may not fit when you have children or enter retirement. This flexibility allows for growth and ensures that your relationship stays dynamic and resp
4. Intentional, Excited, and Motivated
What makes a shared story exciting is the ability to intentionally shape it. When you approach your relationship with excitement and motivation, you set the tone for how each new chapter will unfold. You don’t have to settle for a “business as usual” mentality in your relationship.
This intentionality doesn’t mean everything will be perfect. But it does mean you’ll have a roadmap to navigate difficulties and a shared vision for where you’re headed.
Romans 12:2 encourages us to "be transformed by the renewing of your mind." As we intentionally renew our thoughts and words, we can transform not only ourselves but the relationships we are building. With each new season, there’s an opportunity to write a new chapter—a chapter filled with growth, love, and mutual understanding.
5. Practical Steps to Start Writing Your Story Together
Create Agreements: Sit down with your partner or family and talk about the values and principles you both hold dear. Make simple, positive agreements such as, "We will listen to understand" or "We will approach challenges as a team."
Confess Good Things: Speak life into your relationship. Begin each day with confessions like, "We are building something beautiful together," or "We are a family that supports and loves each other."
Stay Flexible: Revisit these agreements regularly. As your relationship evolves, be willing to adapt. What worked last year may need to shift as new challenges or opportunities arise.
Be Excited: Approach this process with joy and excitement. You’re not just reacting to life; you’re actively creating a shared story that reflects your values, hopes, and dreams.
Conclusion: A New Chapter Together
Writing a shared story isn’t about perfection—it’s about intention. It’s about being proactive in how you relate to your partner, family, or loved ones. It’s about building a narrative based on trust, growth, and mutual support.
As you move forward, remember that this story will evolve. Philippians 1:6 assures us, "He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion." Trust that as you write this story together, it will unfold beautifully with God’s guidance, growing and changing in ways that reflect the depth of love you’ve built.
So, let’s stop living by default and start writing our shared story—together.