Choosing clarity and focus
Clarity and focus are your choices, and they change your atmosphere, your relationships, and your possibilities. Even if your circumstances and relationships feel toxic, you have the power to change the trajectory of your future. Being the thermostat of hope in your home makes you highly influential, and it all starts with your decision.
1. Your focus highly affects your atmosphere
Focus on what you want to attract to your life! Family love, unconditional mercy, and peace are the promises of Jesus to partner with us in abundant life. Your thoughts, mindset, and focus affect your home, just as much as your behaviour and words. For years, I thought I could hide my disappointments and judgments behind a mask of pleasing and pretending with fake smiles and kind words.
Without developing a healthy way to communicate authentic feelings, even when I was hurt or overlooked, I created a dysfunction of performance, but that can only last so long until I snapped. I thought that I was a great actor and that nobody could see my pain and negative thoughts. I was wrong. The entire time, my husband could “feel” the fact that I was disappointed in him. Our pattern of surface-pretending continued for many years. And I focused on the things that Bob neglected to do.
From Bob’s perspective, he presumed that if he stayed quiet while he was angry, I wouldn’t feel the extent of his sadness and discontentment. But his focus on the negative aspects of life affected the atmosphere, and I reacted by trying to be happy enough for both of us, accentuating my pleaser-performance. What a crazy fear-dance!
We have both learned the power of focusing on hope and loving each other through our thoughts and moods, as well as our words and actions. Our response to things is almost always more important than the thing that is happening. If you want to set a thermostat of peace, joy, and honesty, guard your thoughts and focus on attributes that are good, lovely, beautiful, and praiseworthy.
2. Your focus highly affects your relationships
Your future quality of relationships is largely dependent on your focus. Negative reactions like fear, jealousy, anger, can make you feel justified and defended. They can make you feel validated. But they end up in emptiness, discouragement, and hopelessness.
If your relationships are struggling, consider adjusting your focus. What you focus on with conscious intention keeps growing in your life! If you are complaining you’ll keep getting more of what you’re thinking about. If you’re fixated on your spouse’s and children’s faults and shortcomings, you’ll keep experiencing those very things more and more.
3. Your focus highly affects your faith
A famous preacher once said, “A bad bird might fly into my house, but I won’t let it build a nest!” Bad news, negative emotions, or challenging circumstances might happen, but it’s our choice not to create a doom and gloom mindset. As you practice focus, you’ll find that you don’t go as low as you used to, and you don’t stay down there as long. That’s the power of focus!
When our thoughts and emotions harmonize with God’s word and promises, and we focus on those, we allow our hearts to align with His abundant life. If you’re struggling with a particular emotion, find a promise of God and meditate on it, create pictures, and experience Jesus until you have a new emotion. That’s your amazing choice to partner with God,.
4. Your focus highly affects your possibilities
I have developed some focus points that encourage the abundant life that Jesus promises.
I make my choices with full awareness. I live a proactive life.
I expect and accept unconditional love to flow easily to me. I am loved by God.
I let go of my need to arrange my life. I judge nothing that occurs.
I have a soft heart to hear God’s voice. I have soft eyes to see others.
I am carefree and light, knowing all is well.
Make the choice to set your channel to “hope”. Don’t let other channels like “fear of the future” or “My spouse is a disappointment” permeate your thoughts and heart. This is your day to focus on promises and possibilities!
Hear more about this topic on Episode 66 of All About Relationships Podcast with Bob and Audrey.