Brainstorming together
Brainstorming is a stimulating exercise where you get together to generate new ideas and solutions. Instead of just having a night of Netflix, consider the outcomes that could happen if you take an hour to brainstorm together! The fun part about this concept is you decide (ahead of time!) that this is a safe space to be uninhibited, and no ideas are criticized or scrutinized. This takes relationship adventure to the next level.
Some of the most common questions that couples ask us are about priorities:
Should we have a weekly date night?
How should each partner take responsibility for their own health and happiness?
How do you balance “alone time” and time together?
How do you face disagreements with honesty and kindness?
How do we break the cycle of threatening each other?
How do we stop tip-toeing around delicate issues?
How do we divide chores and tasks?
How do we get to the place where we don’t keep secrets from each other?
If you have ever wondered about any of these topics, this would be a great set-up for a brainstorming session. Why not get to the bottom of things once and for all?
First, acknowledge each other’s communication goals, and how they will play into your brainstorming session. (Listen to episodes 29-31, All About Relationships Podcast for more about this!)
Second, create the time and space without distractions, and start with these loving questions:
Is there anything I can do for you at this moment to help you feel more comfortable or loved?
How can I better support you in your life?
Is there anything I have done in the past week that may have unknowingly hurt you?
When you come home, is there something I can do or say that will make you feel loved?
Is there any kind of physical touch that I can engage in more that helps you feel loved?
Do you think you will need more “closeness” or “alone time” over the next couple of days?
Is there any argument that we had this past week that you feel incomplete about?
How do you feel about our sex life lately?
What are the main stressors currently in your life, and is there any way I can alleviate that stress for you if only a small amount?
When do you find speaking difficult and how can I best support you through those moments?
Remember, these are all guidelines and suggestions. You are uniquely connected and obviously human. You will inevitably mess up and that’s alright. The point of brainstorming is to connect and point back to “hearing each other’s heart” and quickly remember that this is about unconditional love.
Our favorite scripture when it comes to loving each other well is in Philippians 2:
Look at how much encouragement you’ve found in your relationship with the Anointed One! You are filled to overflowing with his comforting love. You have experienced a deepening friendship with the Holy Spirit and have felt his tender affection and mercy.
So I’m asking you, my friends, that you be joined together in perfect unity—with one heart, one passion, and united in one love. Walk together with one harmonious purpose and you will fill my heart with unbounded joy.
Be free from pride-filled opinions, for they will only harm your cherished unity. Don’t allow self-promotion to hide in your hearts, but in authentic humility put others first and view others as more important than yourselves. Abandon every display of selfishness. Possess a greater concern for what matters to others instead of your own interests.
The treasure hunt awaits you! Discover the gems inside each other and align yourself with God’s unconditional love working inside of you. Transform your previous ways of thinking so you can have your best year ever!
Hear more about this topic on Episode 32 of All About Relationships Podcast with Bob and Audrey.