Are you sensitive or touchy?
Being sensitive to surroundings, people’s feelings, and even the mood of a room is a gift when it comes to relationships. Your ability to feel and evaluate gives you the ability to respond to needs and provide comfort and adjustment.
When being sensitive (as a gift) gets overused, it turns into being touchy. Being touchy is when you are sensitive to a person or a room, and it takes a downward turn. That’s when insecurity kicks in and turns into judgment, offense, or self-deprecation.
A personal note from Audrey: I am sensitive to the needs of others, and I love creating a positive environment. Pleasantries go a long way in my world, and being nice and asking warm questions is when I feel the most normal. When I sense someone is in a bad mood, or rooms or relationships get quiet, I can tend to feel insecure and nervous. That’s when I overuse my strength to fix a situation that I don’t have control of. That’s when my survival skills become dysfunctional.
What is your sense of normal?
Feeling secure, even when moods and reactions are out of your comfort zone is a powerful stance when it comes to showing love and acceptance in relationships, but it’s easier said than done! We all have a sense of what feels normal. Our family origin and environment establish what feels normal, and whether it is good or bad, it becomes tolerated. When unloving behavior is tolerated it becomes accepted, and then the possibility of dysfunction sets in, and we begin to need it as an expression of love. If your identity is attached to others, and the status of your relationships, your identity is displaced. If you want your normal to change, you are invited to recover your identity as the real you.
Repetitive occurrences are worth taking notice of. If something is happening to you over and over again, it’s most likely rooted in a limiting belief about yourself and others. Blaming others for repetitive happenings will perpetuate the cycle, but the willingness to re-write your normal is a fabulous invitation into new beginnings.
“Yes, I am sensitive, but I am also tremendously secure.”
Decide to embrace your sensitivity, but then blanket those feelings with layers of security. What a strong empowering belief and what a beautiful gift to all of your relationships.
Prescription
Love God with all your heart. Learn to depend on Him. Cultivate prayer as a calming and refreshing part of each day. Realize that since God is love, we are incapable of effectively giving and receiving love until our natural heart has been satisfied by His supernatural love. God’s love frees us to love as He loves (unconditionally) without expecting anything in return.
Hear more about this topic on Episode 101 of All About Relationships Podcast with Bob and Audrey.