Repairing Conversations
Repairing past offenses and mending from ongoing disconnect can take effort to remedy, but there are practical ways to make your love effective and even revitalize your relationships. If you’ve been hopeless, or stuck, trying hard without seeing change, we want to offer you hope. Hopelessness about a problem is a bigger problem than the problem itself!
If you’ve ever found yourself “stewing” over a situation, there are three main ingredients that cause your anger to swirl around:
Fear 2. Hurt 3. Loss of Control
Dwelling on an offense hoping for it to somehow make sense simply reinforces the problem and doesn’t usually end in relief. You have the choice to feed the negative thoughts or interrupt them and align with a heavenly perspective.
When we regress to the lower version of ourselves, fear hits the panic button and stunts our growth. Our sympathetic nervous system sends us into flight, fight or freeze. Your fear is powerful when the “what if’s” are attached to your sense of identity and worth. When fearful ideas blow up our imagination, we tend to distort and exaggerate the situation which results in poor decisions and forcing an outcome. And it ends up being an outcome without resolve, and that’s never what we are after!
If you’re ready to stop stewing and suppressing your agitation, the agony can end immediately. Imagine if you were less afraid, more healed from your past hurt, and able to let go of all the things you know you can’t or shouldn’t control! You would be a different person and you would attract different things. More opportunities and healthier versions of your present relationships.
Instead of obsessing about what “that person” did to hurt you, why not end the torment in your own heart and mind first? Consider “not looking” at that which you don’t want to experience. Don’t offer attention and focus to that which stirs up resentment in your heart. Thinking of the offense keeps the image in front of you.
Love from God is unconditional. We weaken our life experiences when we are influenced by conditions. Unfortunately, we aren’t perfect like God, but we can allow God to love us, and experiencing His love is the first step to alignment with joy, peace, and harmony.
If you’ve been stewing and you’re ready to get over it, involving God and recognizing his presence assures your heart that you’re not alone. This takes the power away from the stew and the pressure off.
Next, allow God to give you new ways to see the situation. As your sight is recovered, you can create a picture of a location where you are surrounded by feelings of peace and calm. Now that you’re here, it’s easier for you to forgive them for not being perfect. Convince yourself of God’s original creation and idea for that person. They are worth being loved!
Now, write a few sentences of thanks. Involve your attention and intention to notice and remember what you love about them. After you’ve completed these steps, you’re ready to engage in conversation.
Approach the one you love and apologize for stewing.
Declare your choice for life and restoration
Be quick to own your reactions
Be vulnerable and listen without defending
Then, as a generating question: What would you like from me to make your life experience more wonderful? Great questions result in helpful and useful answers. Following these guidelines, and making them personal and customized for your situation will elevate you to new levels of enjoying life and love with others.