Misplaced Trust

It’s easy to trust when things are working. Feeling secure in a place of trust encapsulates the dream of unconditional love! Trusting others is almost inseparable from loving others. True intimacy can only be achieved through honesty and trust. What are the steps in nurturing and developing a trust-filled relationship even after betrayal or layered disappointments? We are so glad you asked:

Step One

Instead of waiting for the other person to jump through the hoops and prove themselves, consider developing trust in the one place where you won’t be failed: God and His incredible goodness. It’s better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in people. David, in the bible, spoke from experience after being betrayed many times by the ones closest to him. Instead of becoming bitter or regarding all people as inherently untrustworthy and not worth his time, he learned and taught a simple truth: people will fail us, but we can always trust in God.

Even though others will fail us at times, and we ourselves are not always trustworthy, we can and should still trust people to varying degrees. Without trust, a true relationship is impossible. It is precisely because we know that God will never fail us that we can trust others. Our ultimate security is in Him, so we can experience freedom! Freedom to trust others and experience the joy it brings.

Step two

Develop your ability to be trustworthy. Your character depends on it! We should be a safe place for others and keep their confidence. We should be known for our honesty. At times, we all let others down. But we should always strive to “walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love”.

Trusting others is not always natural or easy. Sometimes it is difficult to tell the difference between being wise about our trust and being overly self-protective out of past hurt or fear. If we find ourselves reluctant to trust anyone to any extent, we are wise to do some introspection and, if necessary, ask God to heal our wounded hearts.

Step Three

The third step after being hurt by trusting others is forgiveness. If a person repeatedly betrays our trust unrepentantly, we do not have to continue to associate with him or to make ourselves vulnerable to him. Yet we also should not harbor bitterness or allow that person’s actions to impede our relationships with other people. If the person is truly repentant—even when it involves betrayal and exploited trust—we are to seek to fully forgive and even pursue restoration and a rebuilding of trust over time.

For a loving relationship to flourish, one of the most important aspects is trust. If you want to repair a relationship after a betrayal, forgiveness is key. Not only will you need to forgive your partner, but you also may need to forgive yourself. Blaming yourself in some way for what happened can keep you stuck in self-doubt. That can hurt the chances of your relationship’s recovery.

Apply to Life:

Be aware of your focus! Whatever you focus on grows and becomes bigger and powerful. As you are definitive and decisive about your focus you’ll feel alive and full of energy and movement!

Don’t focus on: