Invest in SECURITY now
If security is everything when it comes to enjoying relationships, insecurity is the robber of all progress and enjoyment. The good news (as always) is you have the opportunity and invitation to rest in the confident, faith-filled land of security without having to wait for anyone to change. So don’t wait, invest in security now.
Sensitivity + Insecurity = Disaster
OR
Sensitivity + SECURITY = The Dream
Being sensitive is a tremendous gift to your relationships. Being sensitive is simply a reveal that your senses are alive, working, and doing their job to help you experience everything around you.
As an individual, your focus on investing in your heart invites you to face your deepest fears, and get loved in those places. As a couple, or in a relationship, you get to consider the other person as more important and believe the best in them. Even when behaviors get out of hand!
A great way to start when it comes to living SECURE as an individual or in a relationship is to articulate your dream. Start with the best-case scenario. Maybe it could go something like this:
Because I’m secure, I believe the best about myself and you, I am established in feeling accepted, loved, and confident in God’s approval. I make choices to develop habits that support my beliefs. The bottom line, I choose righteousness, peace, and joy. Alignment with God, deep calmness, and a hope-filled approach to each day
When it comes to enjoying marriage as a couple, write out your dream! Maybe it could go something like this:
Because we are secure, we live life supporting each other’s dreams, live in peace, and are empowered to be fully ourselves. We always feel safe to be completely transparent, share our true feelings, and know we’ll be honored. We leave a legacy for our children to have a clear picture of what love looks like. Because we’re secure, we conquer the world together, and we naturally impact people’s lives around us.
Sensitivity + Insecurity = DISASTER / Sensitivity + Security = THE DREAM
When an issue rises:
In my security, I support you. So when “something” happens, begin the conversion:
“In my sensitivity, I’m feeling insecure (and maybe exhausted) but I don’t want to hurt you. Can you give me some space to regroup?”
As you take space, recall your marriage dream, and your individual dream before having a further conversation. “Now that I’m feeling secure, I can identify the fears that are going on beneath the surface for me. Please feel free to share your fears, but only if you want to. (Be careful not to minimize the other’s fear). Now you can agree: Let’s involve Jesus and let him love us in our fear.
Choose the story you tell yourself with intention:
I BELIEVE my spouse loves me (or my child, my parent, my friend, etc) And THAT truth supersedes the current facts, current moods, and current expressions that I’m experiencing from them right now. I choose to develop my personal security by writing and pondering the “Real Me”....This is the story I tell about myself: Because of Jesus, I am….and let your heart go free!
Hear more about this on Episode 154 of the “All About Relationships” podcast with Bob and Audrey.