Change is inevitable
Change is inevitable,
But growth is optional.
Explorers know that navigating through the Land of the Unknown is rewarded with discoveries and adventures along the way. The entire world has been thrust into uncertain times and relationships are being challenged to adapt to the flow of new thinking, new circumstances and even creating new habits.
Many people feel trapped right now, but let’s think about that concept. The only way you will feel trapped is when you “don’t have a choice”. The fact is, you always have a choice. You make thousands of choices every single day. Here are some ideas of how you can “take back” your choice and pioneer through uncertainty with intention and flexibility. Allow desperation to be the mother of innovation in your relationships!
Five Ways to Tap Into the Rhythm of Heaven
1. Truth and Love
Audrey: It takes a lot of courage for me to confront awkward moments, share negative emotions and communicate disappointments. I tend to just be “super sweet” and hope that it will all just go away! But that’s not real life, and that’s not real love. And Bob is my opposite. In our challenges this past week, there were a few days where I just “pretended everything was fine” but that wasn’t true. The feelings of true reconnection happened when I told Bob the truth and we had an honest conversation about what was really going on. Choosing to communicate 100% truth and 100% love at the same time is a challenging skill set for most people. Don’t settle for less! Bob and I continue to practice and navigate our opposite tendencies in this area, and when we do, we flow naturally into the rhythm of kindness and compassion with each other.
2. Thankfulness
How many times a day do we “enter” into something? We enter into our house, we enter into our cars, we enter into the outdoors and (in a less tangible way) we “enter into conversations”. If there were imaginary gates into each new entry, the heavenly name for each gate would be “Thankfulness”. We enter into the gates of living “heaven on earth” when we use words of gratitude and appreciation. Saying thank you to those in your home has the potential to increase your feelings of contentment!
3. Touch
In one study, experimenters instructed one partner to affectionately touch the other while watching a video, and the other partner felt more trusting and secure, even though they knew the touch was prescribed! There is so much power in touch and affection. We refuse to let “social distancing” turn us into robots without human connection, and when we touch with intention we take advantage of a beautiful expression of love and acceptance.
4. Tell me More
Responding actively and positively during conversation is a real thing! It helps so much! When we show interest and ask questions we develop connections with each other. There is no excuse for being cold and uninvolved. If your partner is talking and revealing more about themselves, train yourself to validate and show genuine care for their well-being. Using your voice and facial expressions are gifts that make them feel heard and understood and even valuable.
5. Teachable
The ones who thrive the most during uncertain times are the ones who are most adaptable and flexible. Letting go of past opinions and “ways of doing things” shows maturity and humility. Preferring the other as more important than yourself will naturally take the pressure and intensity out of the home and atmosphere. Examining and even lowering your expectations can be a strategy for coping in difficult times. More expectations equal more pressure. Take time to evaluate what you have expected from others and look at those in your home through the lens of tenderhearted mercy.
Resetting your heart to beat with the rhythm of heaven allows access to the resources of heaven which results in experiencing the realities of heaven. Heaven on earth! Who doesn’t want some of that in their relationships? None of these great ideas will work well for you if you do them out of your own strength. Experiencing God’s extravagant love and complete acceptance, by basking in His words for you brings you the security and confidence to offer compassion and unconditional love to others. As you experience Him and receive His unconditional love and mercy, then you can give that loving-kindness to those around you.
Hear more about this topic on Episode 46 of All About Relationships Podcast with Bob and Audrey.