Celebrating each other’s successes

There’s good news in your relationships: There is always something to celebrate even if you don’t always agree! Getting to the place of openness, honesty, and truly enjoying each other doesn’t require having the same opinions. Differences are what keep the relationship interesting.  

If only we could live and reside in that place of celebration. Unfortunately, the majority of couples and relationships have an element where they feel unheard and misunderstood. We tend to obsess on that part that isn’t working.  

If only they could change this one thing…
If only they could validate me when I share my heart…
If only I could be unashamedly myself, instead of feeling like I have to adjust myself…

These “If only’s” keep us on a treadmill of frustration and even disgust with our partners and family members. The search for what we are missing keeps us longing. What are you missing?  

Connection with someone you love?
Understanding from those who you’re living with?  
Acceptance within your weakness?  
Agreement about what’s most important?

As humans, we tend to focus on what we don’t have, or the things we don’t agree upon. Attention to lack doesn’t serve us well, and leads to worry, self-pity and discontentment.  

There is almost always a gap in completely agreeing about something, or feeling 100% connected. Unfortunately, although small, this gap screams for attention and resolution. If we face the gut-wrenching truth, if we are waiting for the other person to agree with us, or see-through our lens of perspective, we will be stuck for years in an unloving relationship. These rarely happen and can keep you stuck in a place of disconnect UNLESS you are willing to walk away from giving our gap attention.

Consider giving attention to all the things you agree upon! Consider focusing on the things you do have, rather than what you don’t have.