Attention is a Big Deal
We naturally pay attention to what we are interested in. Take a look at your current life… the fact is, this is not the end of your story! If you still have breath, you are a story that’s being told! Happy moments and happy memories are a gift, but they can also be directions. If you’re interested in a life full of abundance, then let’s stoke the fire of momentum and invest in deciding your intention, attention, and vision for your every day.
Intention, Attention, and Vision
Here are ten intentions that you may want to set for yourself that would really help your relationships move forward together. When you build momentum in your relationships, you’ll be in an ongoing state of moving forward together, making memories, and sharing meaningful moments. Even when you face obstacles together, you're able to take them in stride as you work together to keep going. Momentum propels you towards fulfilling relationships. It all starts with intention.
Show kindness: “I’m going to be warm towards you and value your perspective and your needs. I’m going to give you the strongest version of me, without reminding you of your weaknesses.”
Love unconditionally: “Whether the current conditions are favorable or challenging, I’m going to be consistent and stable in my love for you.”
Participate in open and vulnerable communication: “I remember that when I’m vulnerable, it establishes a deeper bond between us and makes us feel closer. When I share my personal journey with you, I am giving you a gift.”
Share passion, affection, and intimacy: “I prioritize being affectionate…like trust, it’s something that grows and develops over time. I want you to feel wanted.”
Support and appreciation: “Part of supporting you is being enthusiastic when you share your journey with me. Part of appreciating is using words, and being specific with what I’m grateful for!
Compliment and admire: “I don’t settle for stagnation, assuming our relationship is fine because we’re not having conflict. Complimenting and admiring you keeps our relationship fresh and alive.
Avoid criticism, complaints, and correcting: “Even when our preferences, values, and convictions are different, I’m not going to bring constant attention to them. Instead, I find a playful and creative way to reach your heart.
Personal space without guilt: We are together (in our family, our friendship, our marriage) but we are also individuals, so I am secure enough to allow you space and self-expression.”
Seasons of feeling stuck: “I don’t want to defend, argue, debate, or impose my convictions or my preferences, so I will re-evaluate my expectations, accept you, and be easy to get along with and carefree.”
Don’t question the nature of our relationship: “I won’t judge your intentions or presume you’re against me, even when my feelings are hurt.” Often times I just working through “my own stuff”.
When it comes to attention begin to notice what you pay attention to in your life. The things you feed your attention with will tend to grow (both positive and negative). What you withhold attention FROM, tends to wither and fall away. Nothing drives people up a wall faster than being ignored.
We all love attention because it provides validation. Whatever has your attention has your power. See your attention as currency and spend it on what you value. You have a choice, be decisive and it’s in your power to select what you’re giving your attention to. It’s a big deal! It’s useful to inventory what we are feeding with our attention.
Vision is the willingness to see. Take a look at your past and “see” the best. The times together that felt close and fun. There have been a lot of things that have gone really well in your life, but they might be living dormant. Stoke the fires of good times in the past. Remember what you first loved about each other! Talk about your favorite memories!
The practical definition of faith is simply “Seeing the end from the beginning”. Whatever you’re praying for? See it and feel it now. Smile when you think of your future and your dreams coming true. Journey to find the momentum that will propel you forward.
A healthy relationship should be easy, smooth, and carefree. That's not to say there will never be challenges or difficulties. That's part of having a passionate, long-term partnership. Don't settle for stagnation there is a surplus of enthusiasm (momentum) available for you! Enthusiasm breeds hope which leads to the dreams of your heart revisited and a future of freedom and joy realized.
Hear more about this on Episode 160 of the “All About Relationships” podcast with Bob and Audrey.